The Golden Age (of legwarmers)

How can I explain my love of the 80's? While women everywhere cringe in terror at the sight of 80's fashion filling the stores, I secretly smile and welcome its return. For me that time will always represent a golden age, a time when everything was just so cool. Logically, I suppose it makes no sense. We were terrified of nuclear war; homelessness, famine, and yuppies made the daily headlines, and greed was good. It sounds rather bleak. Somehow, though, jelly shoes, converse high tops in rainbow colors, and MTV made everything alright. I remember being at a friend's house and racing in from the pool to watch the premier of MTV on the local cable network. Our lives were one big Brat Pack movie. The labels could be brutal at times. Whether you were a skater, a bop, or a nerd, some things, at least were consistent. You could always see the bad guy coming because he had blonde, layered hair and was named "Chet" or "Chaz". As long as you held out, though, you knew he would eventually fall in love with the unpopular girl and stop tormenting everyone. Happiness was a piece of neon-hued netting tied around my head ala Madonna. An armful of o-ring bracelets kept boredom at bay, especially if you had the glow-in-the-dark kind. Getting in trouble at school meant you probably got caught with a slam book or had an argument with someone over who "hearts" which boy more, and who reserves the right to scribble it on the bottom of their shoes. You might have idolized Ferries Bueller or Bill and Ted, because they not only escaped school for a day but beat the constant contest for popularity. They also had good hair. If we were really honest with ourselves, none of us actually knew what Brass Monkey or Funky Cold Medina was, but we sure as heck thought it rocked. Those of us who became, in our minds, truly cool "went new wave" and started dressing in plaid and Chinese slippers. We felt that the secret of the universe was contained somewhere within the lyrics to "The End of the World as We Know It", if only we could figure them all out. We went to the fair and got Echo and the Bunnymen or Dead Kennedys painted on our faces, along with an anarchy symbol or two. Our parents, as Will Smith (then The Fresh Prince)put it, our parents just didn't understand. Ah, the 80's. I could go on, but I'm "outtatime". I wonder if putting on a set of shoulder pads would make the day any easier.