Ernesto = BFD

Oh, NO! It's Ernesto! Somebody saaaaave meeeee!

While I do believe that caution and storm preparedness are important, I can only roll my eyes at all the Miami gas stations that were closed this afternoon because they were sold out. Sold out. Sold the @#$% out.

While I feel for those who survived Andrew, I also believe that Miami needs to get over itself. The slightest murmuring of unusual weather sends people flocking to the pumps in droves, filling the tanks of gratuitously large vehicles which will only be totalled once an airborne tree branch scratches the $10,000 chrome bumper. Now, call me crazy, but all us Monroe County types from the Keys up to Flamingo were still listening to the fishing report this morning. The tourists all got sent packing days ago, so the guides are out together hauling in some redfish and snook before taking the boat up the ramp one last time. My local radio station this morning summed it up best: "Tropical Storm Ernesto! Who cares?" Meanwhile in Miami, grocery stores are stripped bare, gas pumps are shut down, and the leaves are fluttering slightly in the breeze. It even sprinkled a little earlier. Cars are wrecked all over the roads. All Publix locations closed at 6:00 pm. I guess it's just a hardier, or crazier (or both) stock of people in the Keys. Miami is very soft and prone to intense overreaction - about everything.

We had to leave Flamingo by 1:00 pm, so rather than spend the next 2 nights before our flight to OK on the floor of the Pine Island HQ building (rah) we are comfortably ensconced in a Miami Fairfield Inn from whence I am typing away to you now. The comfy bed and wireless internet connection are far preferable to a foam slab and a sleeping bag for one who has recently rejoined the ranks of the living. My IV puncture wound may be healing, but I am not up to "roughing it" just yet. I almost have my appetite back, and I am hoping that it will make a full return in time for some tasty barbecue in a few days. Of course, the other problem is that most everything tastes bad. Well, tastes funny, anyway. I don't know how that's flu-related, but whatever. I can't think of any other plausible explanation. A lot of stuff has a sour undertone to it, and other things, well, I can't describe it. Maybe I'll shed some extra tush. One can only hope.

Well, folks, I have many more places to surf before I go to bed. Yes, you heard me! It doesn't matter that it's 1:00 am. My recent illness has also left me an insomniac. I think I slept so much while I was really falling-down sick that I'm going to be awake for a good week straight. Seriously. We're talking lying awake tossing and turning until 5:00 am. It's not pretty. Okay, I'm going now. Stayed tuned, boatophiles!

Wicked Pissed

Have you ever been so enraged that you turned into a cartoon character? You know what I'm talking about: your entire body slowly turns fire engine red from the feet up, and when it reaches the top of your head steam blows out your ears. I was just that shade of angry yesterday. I turned so red-hot, I stayed that way. It was like a sunburn! Wierd, huh? I'm still a little warm this a.m. I can't tell the whole story here, but suffice it to say I did something for people that I didn't have to do, just for their benefit, only to receive a nasty and insulting anonymous note demanding more. Some people. And no, these were not newcomers of a southerly persuasion, either. What is wrong with people? When did we become so darned entitled?!?!

The Demise of the Barbie Spoon

I hate tarpon. No, seriously, I really do. They are the biggest waste of bait on the planet. No, wait - that would be the goliath grouper. The tarpon are up there, though. You see, I had this lure. It was a favorite lure of mine, and it was magic. Fish loved it, especially the yellowtail. I called it the Barbie spoon. It was one of those diamond-shaped, "hey, I might be a squid" spoons with hot pink prismatic stuff on the top of it. On a decent day, fish would hit that thing left and right. Woe is me, however. I was out fishing off the dock the other day, and though I kept an eye out specifically for them, a tarpon snuck up on me. It was too far away for me to really see it. It took my lure, jumped, and was gone. Little bastard. I've made it my personal mission to harass tarpon whenever I see them while snorkeling now. They're killing me with this theft of tackle. I also can't find a replacement for the Barbie spoon. I found one the same shape and size with the pink bead, but alas, no pink prismatic stuff. How can I be expected to fish with inferior tackle? I wonder if they make Scotchlite in hot pink...

Tagged...

1.) One book that changed your life: The one I'm writing. It tends to dictate my schedule at times.

2.) One book you've read more than once: I've probably reread The Old Man and the Sea the greatest number of times. There are so many books and so little time that I don't repeat all that often.

3.) One book you'd want on a desert island: Hmm...how about How to Survive on a Desert Island for Dummies or The Complete Idiot's Guide to Survival on a Desert Island, or perhaps even Rick Steves' Guide to Desert Islands. You get the idea. Have I beaten that one to death enough or should I continue? (Hmm...didn't realize Jay had this same thought until after I wrote it. There's something scary!)

4.) One book that made you laugh: Skinny Dip, by Carl Hiaasen

5.) One book that made you cry: It's only happened once. When I was a kid I read The Call of the Wild, and the part where the sled and most of the dogs go under the ice got me a little misty-eyed.

6.) One book that you wish had been written: You, Too, Can Master the Jedi Mind Trick What the heck kind of question is this?

7.) One book that you wish had never been written: I honestly can't think of one.

8.) One book you're currently reading: How the Irish Saved Civilization

9.) One book you've been meaning to read: The Confessions of St. Augustine

10.) Tag five others: Umm...sorry. Don't know any bloggers who haven't already been tagged with this. Man, it sucks to be at the end of the line!